Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
