there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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