Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize