it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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