so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
How does one acquire holy water?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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