Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
