Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
