We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
