I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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