Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
