So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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