So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
