we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
