there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
