and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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