You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
