What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
