I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
