she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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