You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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