My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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