We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
