Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
