Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
