don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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