Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
