He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
areolas are like halos for boobs.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
