wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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