I haven't been this sober since birth.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
