we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
