"it" just moved
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
