best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
