We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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