I hate all girls vehemently.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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