just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
