Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
