so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
