I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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