I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
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im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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