I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
His hands were made for my vagina.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
