So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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