yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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