it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
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I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
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I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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