He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
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His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
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So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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