Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just want nice things and good sex
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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