I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
