I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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