Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
