I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
