Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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