It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
