Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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