normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
