toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
