he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
