What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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