i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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