I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
