Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
