I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
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I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
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Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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