I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
