Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
