He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
