You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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