whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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